Email: [email protected]

*Hello! My name is Tyler. This is my dating profile.

This is part of a fun trend on my corner of the internet. If you’re curious about this format, feel free to read more here, or take a look at some other folks’ profiles.

I think, at worst, this is a fun autobiographical exercise. But at best, I hope I’ll meet new people with a focus on intention and compatibility over randomness and proximity.*

basics about me ✨

• I’m a 5’8” and 25 years old
• Based in Tulsa, Oklahoma, though I try to travel for 3+ months out of the year
• My career is in social advocacy nonprofits, previously concerning farmed animal welfare, now concerning responsible AI development.
• Hobbies outside of work include reading, podcasts, climbing, cycling, spending time outdoors, making crossword puzzles, and live music.
• More on all this later!

basics about you 🥰

• I’m primarily interested in dating women
• I’m looking for someone in their 20s or 30s
• I have a strong preference for monogamy
• I’d like to start by chatting and just developing a friendship! And I’m earnestly happy if things stay there and go no further.
  • In fact, I welcome contact from anyone of any gender/age who thinks we might get along as friends!
• I’ve found I’m fairly bad at predicting the “type” of person I’ll develop feelings for, so I have very few specific traits that I seek out
• More on all this later!

astrology for nerds

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

Type: INFP

71% Introverted 73% Intuitive 51% Feeling 51% Prospecting

**Big Five Personality Test**

(Trait : Percentile) Openness : 67% Conscientiousness : 52% Extraversion : 25% Agreeableness : 83% Neuroticism : 77%

(much) more about me

my interests

<aside> 📚 My main hobby, as gauged by the number of hours I spend on it, is consuming content. I imagine this is true for most people, to be honest. I also think it’s a good, but not perfect, proxy for compatibility via shared interests. Here’s a breakdown of my media diet, sorted by how much time I spend with it.

• 55% 🌐 I consume most of my content on the internet. I like reading long-form journalism, blogs, and essays. A few favorite sites include Aeon, Bloggingheads, and **Astral Codex Ten.**
• 25% 📖 I also really enjoy reading books, especially nonfiction and sci-fi. I’m an active user of Goodreads to try to keep track of this — so, if you’re curious about what I like to read, check out my profile there.
• 15% 🎙️ I probably listen to 10-15 hours of podcasts every week, but I’ve discounted it in this ranking because it’s often while doing something mundane like laundry or driving around. My favorite shows include Clearer Thinking, **The Ezra Klein Show,** and Very Bad Wizards.
• 5% 🎥 I don’t watch TV or movies all that often, but there are some that I really enjoy. I’ve also been trying to keep track of this on Letterboxd — you can find my profile here.
• 5% 🕹️ I play video games seasonally — as in, I’ll go through bursts where I play a lot over a single weekend, and then won’t touch them for months. My favorites are historical strategy games including Civilization and Crusader Kings.
• 5% 📓 I also miss being a student terribly and usually have one or two online courses going through platforms like **EdX** and MIT OCW. One of my favorites is **Robert Sapolsky’s lectures on Human Behavioral Biology.** </aside>

<aside> 🎸 I really enjoy music. For a long time, I wanted to be a full-time musician when I grew up. Today, I still make music as a hobby and listen to live music whenever I can.

• Most of my favorite bands probably fit in the “indie rock” genre (Big Thief, The National, Radiohead, Alvvays, The Strokes, etc.)

• I try to see live music every month or two. I’ve logged many of the shows I’ve seen, and am planning to see, here!

  

• The music that I make is generally in the electronic/ambient genre. I produce it on my laptop. I tend not to share it because it’s not all that good. </aside>

<aside> 🏕️ I’m also relatively active and try to spend time outdoors as much as I can.

• I go rock climbing a few times a week. I really enjoy this hobby and would love to meet more climbers.

  

• ^ Ditto but with mountain biking

  

• I try to go on camping trips once a month or so. I generally feel much happier outdoors and in the sun and fresh air. I work, read, and relax outside whenever I can.

• I like playing and watching a few specific sports, including soccer, cycling, and ultimate frisbee. </aside>

<aside> ☕ I’m more on the introverted side, but nonetheless, I still really enjoy getting out in the world. A few ways I do that:

• I spend a lot of time in “third spaces” — locations that aren’t work or home but are places where I can relax, pursue my hobbies, or spend time with others. So I spend a lot of time at coffee shops, parks, libraries, etc.

• I’m relatively convinced by the hypothesis that humans evolved to live in close connection with a tribe of family and peers, and there is a loneliness epidemic in lots of Western countries where people live in independent housing units with a single partner. As an antidote to this, I’m interested in intentional communities and co-living arrangements, and I’d like to live with many roommates in the future. I also try to volunteer and attend interest groups that help people spend more time with others in their community.

• I try to travel for multiple months every year. This is one of the luxuries that I’m afforded by having a fully remote job. In order to make it financially viable, I often seek out longer working vacations where I can stay somewhere for a few weeks or months, work from my laptop, and settle into a daily routine.

  

• I’m also based out of Tulsa, which is a city many people in my social milieu probably wouldn’t choose. I really like it for a number of reason — lower cost of living, a kinder and less status-concerned social scene, and a coziness/americana vibe that I like. I would probably default to living here long-term, though I’m open to moving. </aside>

my values

<aside> 🌎 I have a secular worldview. Despite not having any aptitude for science, I’d like to say that a lot of my worldview is “naturalistic” in that it views reality as being composed of natural forces that we can observe through testing and observation — and, when we can’t observe facts about the world, we can’t speak with authority about them. This has a few implications which might be relevant to any future partners.

• I don’t have any religious beliefs, although I do like reading religious texts and sometimes attending services, especially in the humanist/unitarian universalist tradition.
  • I still would probably fit under the label “atheist” in that I think most stories that religions tell, when taken literally, involve radical claims that would require radical evidence, of which we have none.
• I tend to think that a lot of human behavior is explained by evolutionary forces, and that we have a weaker understanding of our (often self-interested) motivations than we realize.
  • I don’t really believe in free will, at least not in the “magically-change-the-future” sense. As such, I don’t think anyone is deeply responsible for their choices, although we all can and should try to make good ones. </aside>

<aside> 💡 I’ve also been very influenced by analytic philosophy, consequentialist ethics, and effective altruism. I’ve made lots of changes to my life in light of this.

• I’ve taken the Giving What We Can pledge, and I follow a self-imposed annual income cap at a comfortable-but-modest level, above which I donate any money I earn. This is really important to me, and I plan to continue it into the future; but it has also changed my life in major ways (where I live, how much I save, what leisure and travel look like, etc.) This could be incompatible with a future partner with different lifestyle and spending preferences.
• Veganism has become a very important part of my life, and I’ve spent most of career working on animal welfare issues. I don’t necessarily expect my future partner to be vegan themselves (in fact, I think the direct effects of individual dietary change are fairly small), but it is important to me that they care about the suffering of non-humans.
• I have a greater-than-average frequency of hot takes. As with all relationships, dating me could require some tolerance for disagreement on important issues, perhaps going both ways. I consider some of these “strong opinions, weakly held,” which is to say that I have a great degree of uncertainty about them and change pretty frequently. </aside>

<aside> 🪴 Despite the aforementioned secularism and consequentialism, I care about intangible ✨vibes✨ a surprising amount. There are a few ways this manifests.

• I really value kindness and open-mindedness in discourse, and I try to make sure all my interactions have this quality. It’s still an area of growth for me (more details below). I also try to practice perspective-taking and cognitive defusion to help cultivate these.
• I want my living space, my leisure time, and my daily life in general to have a quality that is something like Hygge. The silly way to put this is that I want to romanticize my life. Some people might find this a bit annoying or pretentious — but I know that it helps my well-being.
• I also often fail to identify why I feel the way I do — including about other people. This is especially relevant in a dating context because, while I can try to use this doc to express in detail what I’m looking for in a partner, a great deal of the compatibility between me and someone else will just come down to “the vibes” — and I’d struggle to provide an explanation for it, even post-hoc. </aside>

my quirks and neuroses

<aside> 🧩 I’m fairly neurodivergent in ways that it’s hard for me to put my finger on. But there are a couple of ways this manifests in my life:

• I’ve dealt with moderate OCD in the past, and experience it at subclinical levels to this day. Most of this is in thought patterns rather than patterns of behavior. I can also be prone to depressive episodes and addictive tendencies. I mostly have a handle on this, but I also have a strong genetic disposition for it, which (despite my best motivated reasoning) could surface later in my life, so it’s probably something a future partner should know.
• My motivation, energy levels, and disposition can vary a lot based on time, social context, and how I’m feeling in general. This probably leads me to canceling plans or failing to respond to texts more often than others would like. I also can be quiet or reserved in social settings, depending on my mood.
• Mild interpersonal conflict has been a contributing factor to multiple previous relationships ending. I think that I can get defensive easily, and sometimes say hurtful things (without realizing or intending it). I can also be slow to identify and resolve this when it does come up. </aside>

<aside> 🧹 There are also some traits I have that people might find strange or annoying in a co-living context

• I struggle to stay on top of my schedule, and I pretty rarely fall into a routine in terms of when I eat, work, relax, and sleep. This leads to pretty massive variation from week to week; sometimes I’m waking up at 4 A.M., and sometimes I’m going to bed at 4 A.M.
• I suspect that I will prefer to have a bedroom to myself, even in a long-term relationship. There are a variety of reasons for this: sleep quality, having a private space to myself, and decoupling sex from sleep (at least some of the time). This seems to be more popular recently, but I can imagine some partners won’t like this setup.
• I have a preference to live near other people and things to do. This means I’d both prefer living in a larger intentional/co-living community than a single family home, and prefer living in or close to a city, rather than a rural area. </aside>